Finding Gaby

Week 2? or week 1?

Its been one full week since my breakup, and surprisingly I haven't cried as much as I thought I would. Or at all really.

There is the occasional tear here and there, mostly at night, right before going to be. That's when he'd used to call, and we'd talk for a good hour, now there is nothing. Its just something I need to get used to I think...

But I have been keeping myself busy. I am proud to say that at this point in time I have straight As in all my classes (only 3, but still) and that is an incredible feat for me. I just hope I can keep it up!

I still have yet to have a taste of soda. That's two weeks without a drop of coke. I don't really miss it much, I can't even remember the taste at the moment. We'll see how long this lasts before I cave in.

Let's see...what else have I been doing.

I finished all 10 of the Sookie Stackhouse books (audio books, didn't have the patience to wait for the library to bring me the real books), now I'm eagerly awaiting not only the return of True Blood to TV, but the 11th book as well.

I also finished listening to a set of lectures about America before 1776 called "Before 1776: Life in the American Colonies" Very very interesting, though it did get a little dull towards the end (near to our Independence). Don't know what to listen to next.

What I do is I listen to a lecture every single night, right before going to bed while playing Sudoku. It seems to relax me quite nicely and I sleep better.

I might move on to Ancient Egypt or maybe a Graphic Audio story.

I did give a shot at listening to both "Interview with a Vampire" and "The Host", but I couldn't stand the reader for IwaV (couldn't tell the characters apart) and I still say that  Stephanie Meyer is one of the worst writers EVER. Didn't get past the first chapter.

I also finished watching the Tudors, highly advise people to watch this, though I only like the first 2 seasons.

And that's about it.

Like I said, just keeping myself busy, not so much positive (no positive thinking here) but its keeping me from becoming depressed, which if we all remember is something I'm very good at.

Now on to keeping those As

Deprived of my soda!

Its been a full week to the day that I haven't had a glass of soda, specifically of Coke. And yes, its diving me crazy!

Who knew that a little bit of caffine withdrawl could make me so grumpy, at least its helping me lose weight. All that extra sugar is gone from my diet, but its not easy watching everyone else in the house have a nice tall glass of cold coke.

I hope to make it another week!

Keep Moving Forward

I had no idea when 2011 started that so many things would be different. For once in a long long time I’m being a productive and good student, I’m passing all my class with flying colors. The money spent on tuition is actually being used wisely and I’m not failing. This is a big change for me, because the last few year of college…well all of them have been a nightmare and a half. That’s why I left FSU, that’s why I’m starting over again.

And this time I’m doing amazingly.

Unfortunatly, as I am learning with the good, you have to take the bad. I recently (like yesterday) broke up with my long-time boyfriend. Well long-time if you think 3 years is long.

There were signs along the way that things wouldn’t be working out between us. It also doesn’t help being in a long distance relationship, you learn really fast that telephone calls and text messages really don’t cut it.

It was the right thing to do, at least that’ what I keep telling myself. He needs to focus on working and attempting to get his life in order and I need to finish school (and as you read I’m actually on track). But there is a part of me that just wants to call him and say “NO! let’s try again,” which is something I’ve been saying every single time I would realize that we were nearing the breaking point…guess I pushed it too long. Like beating a dead horse.

If anything its not like we decided to never speak again. We’re good friends, that was always the great thing about our relationship. We were friends first. So I still talk to him, send him text messages with things he would find interesting. And while its only been 1 day (yeah lots of progress there) I don’t feel so bad about. Yeah there are moments where I just want to cry, but I stop myself and try to distract myself with something else.

Time will only tell what happens (and I hate that, I’m a huge sucker for spoilers).

Who knows if we’ll end up together or if in the next year I meet Prince Charming.

In the mean time I’ll just have to continue to move forward.

Like Walt Disney said:

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

And while he probably meant that for the expansion of his empire, I’m gonna use it to keep moving forward in my life, because if not…things will not be pretty.

I’ll try to keep this pretty regular, I really do need a place where I can think out loud to myself…and not in cyberspace!